About 5 years ago now, I purchased my dream vehicle, a 100th Anniversary Edition 2003 Harley Davidson Fat Boy. So over the course of the next 4 years I put just about every part you could put on it, on it. While I was in the process of doing all of this customization, all of the those "Biker Build-off" shows were on the Discovery Channel. Then I started realizing that whenever I would go to a bike event, or go anywhere there would be other "Bikers", everyone was dressed exactly the same. All of the vendors sold exactly the same things, and everything "Biker" was in reality "Poser". It was all about dressing up in your biker outfits (Read Costumes) and going out to "Act" as though you actually knew how to ride like the big dogs and real "Bikers" do.
At this point I was starting to get very disgusted with the entire corporate "Harley" thing, and everything that went with being a weekend "Biker" (Read Poser). I mean I am not going to go drinking and riding like all of my buddies always wanted to do. I am not going to go on real long rides, because they are not really that much fun on a bike (The endurance and convenience factor)... And while I do look like a mean-arsed ugly biker, with all of my tattoos and all, I am really just a nice guy who has always identified more with the "Surfer Dood" look than any thing else. I love my old school high top Vans!
Then one late afternoon in March of 2008, while I was riding along minding my own business approaching the intersection of Bell Rd and 43 Ave, this totally oblivious "woman" (Read a real bad word for a woman) talking on a cell phone, driving a big green SUV, decided that she would switch lanes weather I was in that lane already or not. As I was spitting on all of her passenger side windows, yelling the most vile curse words that could come out of a humans mouth, litterally standing up frantically waving my left arm back and fourth, and just about ready to kick her rear side pannel with my boot trying to get her attention, she finally noticed me in her mirror... Then she flipped me off, switched back into her original lane, and sped off like I was in her way somehow.
This was the last straw for me and the whole "Biker" thang!
Since I no longer had anything to prove to anyone, I decided I would get something cute, cool, fun, and above all else, something that does not look like every other car out there on the road today. Cars today are just fugly and all look alike!
Then I got to the MINI.com's "Configurator" and must have built 20 different MINI's that I wanted to order. There was nothing I could find about the MINI that I did not like. I knew I just had to have me one of these cars.
So, to make a long story even longer, I enter the Scottsdale BMW/MINI dealership to order my MINI. I purposely wore some old surfer t-shirt, burmuda camo shorts, and my very obnoxious 4 colored checkered old school high top Vans. I basically looked like I was a "Trails" employee (A head shop here in Arizona), but without all of the facial piercings.
Dave Smith at BMW/MINI took one look at me, and I knew from the look in his eyes that he thought I was going to be a total waste of his time that morning... But to his credit he still answered all of my very stupid questions, allowed me to test drive one, and allowed me to rebuild my MINI at least 6 different times on his lap top in front of him that morning.
Eventually, due to the fact that I am very impatient and they had one MINI there that had the JCW tuning kit already installed, I changed my mind a few times and finally decided to go with a Lazer Blue MINI they had on the showroom floor.
At this point I am sitting down in front of, Dave Smith, at his little salesman table there, and he asks me how I plan on purchasing this car. I say "I am going to finance it". He then asks me how do I plan to finance it. I say "I was hoping BMW would aprove me, but if they do not, I will get someone else to". He then asks me what my credit score is. I say "I am not sure, but I think it is probably over 750". He then asks me how much I plan to put down on the car. I say "NOTHING"! I can tell I am blowing him out of the water with my answers becasue of the look on his face.
He leaves me there for a few minutes to go check to see if I am telling him the truth about my credit, and he comes back with this really big grin on his face. He then shakes my hand, and offers to purchase me a beverage (Which he would not do before this time for some reason BTW. I even asked and he pointed me to the water cooler down stairs before this).
Frog...
It's not how you pick your nose... It's where you put the booger!